Batool had just turned seventeen when things started going wrong. She shrugged it off and put it down to her constant mood swings but negativity took over her life. In a letter to the Muslim Students’ Counselling Centre she wrote: “The ball of hate and anger knotted around my heart. Everything just got too much one day; my friends hated me, I hated me, the world hated me and I didn’t know how I got like this. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything; what if they thought I was being stupid? That my problems where nothing but exaggerated and I was just being some drama queen? I was convinced my friends thought I was looking for attention. I was also convinced no matter how hard I tried my friends would never understand where I was coming from, after all some things are too personal even to admit to yourself.” She continued: “My sister having a boyfriend was what preyed on my consicence. I wouldn’t say I was 100% religious, but I knew what my sister was doing was wrong and I felt guilty for being part of the conspiracy to cover it up from my parents. I hated myself for supporting her by lying and I hated her for putting me in such a position. I wanted to tell my parents, but not knowing their reactions killed me. They could be fine with it - which was too far-fetched - so naturally I thought the worst.”

“The ball of hate and anger got bitter and more knotty and totally consumed me. Everything was a mess and no answers were forthcoming. There is no worse feeling than knowing, 100% believing you are alone. I was just finding it hard to cope. Like any normal teen, albeit mine went one step further.”